Nebraska Arts for Vets allows me to share ideas visually.

     Without the Nebraska Arts for Vets art program, I would feel lost. Recently, I retired and this left me with a great amount of time, which left me very complacent and eventually with a sense of hopelessness. I was no longer feeling interested in anything. Funny how things have turned full circle for me. When I was younger I enlisted in the Army because I couldn't find anything fulfilling after college. While in the Army I had a job as a draftsman. I was drawing every day. I had completed airborne training. I served in the 82nd Airborne Division and became a M60 team leader. After leaving the military Cooper Nuclear Station hired me as a draftsman, but promoted to several different jobs during my 23 years there. Soon, I found myself unfulfilled, this went on for quite some time until I went to the Veterans Department which helps veterans find jobs. This service connected me with Nebraska Arts for Vets program. I took a photography class with this program.

     Now, I'm volunteering and it has helped me gain respect for myself once more. I able to teach different medians of art to other veterans. This volunteer position has given me a great sense of meaning and purpose to my life once more. 

     That's why I stated, I've come full circle in my life, it started with the military and now Nebraska Arts for Vets is helping me connect back into my artistic life once more and share my talents as well as gain talents from others in a very fun environment.

Veteran

Through this program it has helped a lot. It has kept my hands and my mind working. As a recovering alcoholic and a person with PTSD, this program has helped me a lot. It would be nice if we could have more classes and also computer classes. Other classes cost money and Midwest Arts for Vets and Caregivers makes sure to have classes free of charge. A lot of us veterans are on a small income and we can use all the help we can get. I will keep coming to art classes through Midwest Arts for Vets and Caregivers as long as I can because of how much it helps me. I hope they can offer more classes in the future.

Veteran

The Midwest Arts for Vets and Caregivers program offers veterans and their spouses the opportunity to a treatment that is accented to traditional therapies. These non-traditional therapies offer a connection, a voice, and a solidification of experience to spouses and their veteran counterparts. Having the opportunity to take part in this year’s retreat, I found 10s of women looking for a way to be understood. This happened in three days. Not due to resource tables, not due to fancy hotels, not due to lavish spa gifts, but because of the real connection and real world experience the director and those connected with the Midwest Arts for Vets and Caregivers bring to each and every event they put on.

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This organization provides more than lip service. They are not one of those organizations who state “they want to make a difference in the rural community” while staying in the city 360 days out of the year, only to charge $15,000 for the event other organizations have attempted to put on in the recent past. They come out to the rural family, and if you do not want them to come out to you, they will bring you to them. Again, unlike other organizations, Midwest Arts for Vets and Caregivers uses a massive majority of their dollars to directly go to or directly benefit the consumer. Other organizations simply want to take up the space to give the cause lip services so come fundraising days they can state they were in the veteran space. Cara and her team ARE in the veteran space. They are not profiting from servicing families. They keep overhead to a minimum and bring service and resources requested by the family who is struggle to the events they put on.

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It is always an honor to be involved with anything this organization attempts to put on in an effort to make a real impact and improve the quality of life for each and every person affected by the veteran who has served this great nation.

Veteran

Before I knew anything about caregiver support, I had to learn self-care and veteran care. Here is a little of what we went through before we were told there were support groups. I can remember thinking, “when is he going to be “normal” again? I was so blind and always believed my veteran’s depression was just a battle within and something he would have to overcome, as if he was having a bad day. I didn’t fully understand that in fact the love of my life wouldn’t change, that I would have to learn to live in his new world. Live with a “new man”. I didn’t understand that this was our new way of living. The fact is, I didn’t know how to live with this “new man”. All I know was before the military, my man was “normal”. That was when we didn’t care if our socks were wet, we sat with our backs to people at our son’s school concert, or fight over why it’s better to use our fingers when teaching our son math, care if people stared, or if the neighbor’s dog bark. We just lived. But, now, we care and I often found myself having to care more for my veteran than our son. I remember my veteran coming home one day and mentioning that his case manager told him about a Women of Warriors Retreat caregivers. Any women, where it be a wife, girlfriends, mom, grandma, best friend or sister could attend. It was a place of tranquility and refocus, peace and understanding. A place where we could better understand what our veterans were going through but, hopefully leave with a clear mind and why we may be going through certain changes. There were speakers from all over, speaking on many different subjects like; “How to Cope” to “Sex after Deployment”. I was where I needed to be. It wasn’t until my second year I heard the Kaufman’s tell their story. Their story spoke about many obstacles they overcame, one being infidelity. Hearing them gave me a peace of mind. If it was at that moment, I knew I would be okay. At these retreats we practice self-love, when I left the retreat, I was ready to take care of me and learned how to take better care of my veteran. It wouldn’t get better overnight and we would still have really bad days. But, the good started to outweigh the bad. If it were not for these retreats, I’d still be so lost as to my man, my soulmate, my veteran was no longer my “normalcy”. Being a caregiver doesn’t have to be all sighs and eye rolls, it should not be a job we dread, but should be a daily reminder to take care of one’s self before taking care of others. Self-love is the best type of love and I have learned through these retreats that I AM ENOUGH!

Caregiver

Being a mom and wife is hard work.  Now add in being a Caregiver to a Wounded Warrior, whom is also your spouse is even more difficult.  This ‘job’ goes above and beyond the normal call of wifely duties. At times that role can definitely test the vows of loving your spouse for better or worse and in sickness and in health.  

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There is a very fine line, we as Caregivers, walk with our spouses…our veterans. We love and want our Veteran’s to be this proud, self-sufficient person they once had been. We want our relationship to be that two way street with two like-minded adults that it was in the past.

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For some it can include showering and toilet duties.  For others it can be learning and using basic lifesaving skills such as CPR and an automated external defibrillator device (AED).   And still for others it can be having and implementing a safety plan; such as knowing when warning signs and triggers that can cause a ‘bad day’ to escalate to a horrific episode with a frantic 911 call requesting emergency services in a matter of minutes.   

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I know that I have looked to outside resources to help me manage what they call ‘caregiver fatigue’.  I put so much energy into taking care of my veteran as well as my normal family duties and responsibilities that I tend to forget that I need to care for myself as well.  This is where Cara Lynn Loken saw an incredible need and has stepped up to help fill this void. She has created a much needed program that offers short retreat days and even Caregiver Weekends.  

During these retreats the main focus is helping to teach other Caregivers that it is important to take care of ourselves as well as our Veteran’s and other responsibilities.  We, too often, forget that we are human as well. We need love, compassion, rest, relaxation and grace just as much as everyone else. It is impossible to fill everyone else’s bucket when ours is empty.  It also allows us to meet other Caregivers around our area; which breaks our isolation.

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There have been many times that I have felt as if no one can truly understand just how mentally exhausting it is to be a caregiver.  Many people including my own family have asked me why I ‘put up with this behavior’ or why I don’t just leave my veteran. This hurts my heart so much.  However, during these Caregiver Retreats I am able to bond with other caregivers that truly understand just what our lives entail. Sometimes it means the world to get a strong hug for a person who can take one look at you and say “I understand.”

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These caregiver retreats offer a little ray of sunshine for me to let everything go and feel at peace for a few hours.  I know I can find a comforting embrace, a friendly smile, and a family like connection as well as an opportunity to learn some new tools for my own self-care. These small reprieves from my normally stressful and isolated world are like gold to me. When I leave I know I can continue on with my daily caregiver tasks with a new positive attitude and look forward to this small slice of heaven.

Caregiver

I’ve known John and Cara Loken since 2006. In that time, I have gotten to know their sons. Tyler and Conner. Tyler is an 82nd Airborne veteran who suffers from PTSD. I’ve seen John rise through the ranks in the Nebraska Air National Guard. Since knowing the Loken family, I notice how they are both highly patriotic and motivated in terms of service to their country. John has been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan and helped support the U.S. Military. Which helped protect our freedom. While he was serving his country Cara was always engaged in different pro-service organizations. She won a prestigious award, 2016 Armed Forces Insurance National Guard Spouse of the Year. A year ago, Cara and John approached myself and my parents about utilizing my parent’s 24 acre farm. My parents jumped at the chance to help our veterans who have kept this country safe and free. Serving Midwest Arts for Vets and Caregivers has been a distinct pleasure for Bruce and Marge Kennedy. We take great pride in being able to be of service to those who have served and continue to serve. We welcome all veterans and caregiver to our acreage and hope that they can all find some peace and tranquility while they are there.